How long has it taken us adults to recognize the true gifts that we were born with – supposing we actually know what they are at this time? And, if we have recognized these beautiful gifts, how long has it taken to fully own them – and own them from a healthy, mature place? For most of us, owning our gifts still may be a work in progress, yet we can still support children incredibly well from exactly where we are at in our process. If we understand how painful it can be for a child who doesn’t feel very gifted, we’ll see what an impact we can make on them by helping them. When you can be a clear reflection for their innate gifts and strengths, you can help them identify some of their most unique and empowering qualities at a time when they are building the foundation for who they truly are.
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Happy President’s Day! In addition to celebrating the birthdays of two very influential presidents, we are also in an election year. Unfortunately, in recent years the election process has become a bit of a media frenzy rather than an interesting process and lesson in government. That’s why it’s more important than ever to keep things in a healthy perspective.
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Why can you not love your kids less – even if they act in ways that are really hard to deal with?
Why can you not love your kids more – even if they try to please you and do wonderful things for others?
Unconditional love is the deepest love for the essence of someone – a love so powerful it is not effected by anything, ever.
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I love Valentine’s Day! I know that many call it a Hallmark holiday, but who wouldn’t love a day designated to tell those you love just how much you love them? Ok, go ahead and ask me, “What about those who get so sad on Valentine’s Day?” I say, that’s their choice! You don’t have to have a lover or a partner to enjoy the day. You also don’t have to be showered with flowers and chocolates and be taken for an expensive dinner in order for it to be magical. You simply have to MAKE it a great day.
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School schedules. Kids that are not nice. Tests. Sibling quarrels. Rejection. Failures. Chores. Accountability. Obligations.
Sometimes we handle frustration well, and sometimes we do not. Sometimes we talk about our feelings or we even might take space to a get better perspective. Sometimes we fall into being angry and harsh, or even numb ourselves with things like TV, internet, or substances like alcohol. Sometime we become more present with what is bothering us and talk in calm words… and sometimes we certainly don’t. We’re doing our best, and it looks how it looks in the moment.
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We are already a full month into 2012. I must be having fun because time has certainly flown by! This is about the time we’ve all forgotten about our resolutions for this year, right?
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We all want to see children develop the ability to make good decisions – decisions that encompass honoring their own needs and feelings, as well as those of others. We want them to eventually include the bigger picture reality that their decisions can and usually do have. We also want them to be willing to ask questions when they have them, and to try to find the answers to questions they don’t understand.
Their ability to relate well to the infinite challenges they’ll encounter on a daily basis rely, in part, on their critical thinking ability – the ability to take in details of the situation that is currently happening, and then decide what is best to do by considering what they’ve learned from their past experiences, as well as taking into account the feelings and needs of all involved. Naturally, we all get better at this over time – yet some kids get better at this much faster than other kids.
So… how can you as parents begin to help them cultivate this capacity to make better decisions?
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Happy Chinese New Year to all of our friends who are celebrating! How great is it that we live in a country where there are people from every corner of this planet? When I was growing up people called the U.S. a “melting pot” – a place where everyone lives side by side regardless of their country of origin, skin color, religious affiliation, language spoken, etc… Living in Hollywood, California for much of my childhood, I truly lived that experience.
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What happens when we really listen to our kids – listening not only to the words that they are saying, but also to the feelings and needs that are behind the words themselves?
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In remembrance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I have been thinking about the many people in our country’s history who were amazingly courageous; so much so that they actually changed the world. The Founding Fathers, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr. and so many more come to mind. What separates the brave from the meek? Simply, the nerve to stand up and say something?
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